Saturday, September 29, 2007

...and pray some more!........part 1

OK! OK! Now that I have had complaints from not only one person, but two, I will write more than just pray pray Pray! Often times,when I write things on my blog, my thoughts aren't necessarily geared toward others reading it. It has mostly been a creative way for me to enjoy journaling my many thoughts and events. Therefore, when I wrote pray, pray, pray, God and I both know what was behind it and that is all I needed to remember. But thanks to a few curious minds, I am going to try to put my experience with God and Christian life into words. And that's great because I often learn even more about God, myself and my journey through doing that. So, for Tye, Betty and whoever else out there in blog land, here goes.

For those of you who know me well, you have heard me say that I believe that everything depends upon prayer. I remember the first time that I came to that conclusion. It was the fall of 1995, 10 years after God had first stirred my heart with wild wonderings about prayer. I continue to maintain the belief that everything depends upon prayer as well as abiding in that truth and I regard it more deeply today then I did yesterday. Praying is hard work and yet it is the most rewarding work that I have ever experienced. (Fasting is another facet of it all but that will have to be another blog on another day.)

Let's back up to 1985. I was 25 years old and that is when God first introduced me to the idea of "praying". Not the stereotypical or conventional prayers, such as praying before a meal, praying at bedtime or for your cancer filled dying relative. But rather, praying as a ministry(but ministry was not the word then).....it was the discerning of a concept, an essence, an impression of some sort. It was foreign and yet captivating....weird and yet wonderful. It seemed uncanny, atypical, and eccentric all mixed together. I was in awe but so callow.

At that point, I don't recall having heard about prayer "ministries" or having read about such things. I regularly punched into the Wednesday evening prayer meeting at the Baptist church that I attended. Frankly, it was quite boring. My husband, Dan, was the youth pastor there so it was a "good" thing to do. Dan spent a lot of time in personal prayer. I don't even vaguely recall probing him about it, which is highly unusual for me. There were times when we prayed together but I am sorry to say that unless we were praying about something that pertained to us or to my small spiritual world, I was often drifting in and out of attention, my mind a wandering. It's not that it was boring. Well, okay, it kind of was. It was just not stimulating to me at that time. I wasn't where Dan was and I wondered how he could go on and on about things so abstract and unreal to me. Like the Timbuk people in Timbuktu.

Anyway... God had initiated acquainting me with this new slant on prayer and I stepped out in faith, attempting to obey according to my, less than narrow, understanding. I don't remember what I prayed for. I don't remember whether or not I had a list of things to pray for or if that is when I started making lists of things to pray for. Probably the latter. I remember it taking quite awhile...like up to 45 minutes. I remember thinking that the experience was really awesome, in the true sense of the word. There was some confusion. Was this a "calling"? Was I supposed to do it everyday? Once a week? For how long? For a month? For a year? I didn't think about the possibility of it being for a lifetime. I felt special to be bidden upon to do this. It brought me the same excitement as the call to fast but my knowledge of that was very limited as well. I sensed that this kind of praying required something, that it would be great in challenge. I also sensed that it would assuredly "change things." What kinds of change? I didn't know. What kinds of things? I didn't know that either but I was up for the adventure.

The years roiled on. The vision, the calling, the mental concept, or whatever it was that I had been gifted, was without exception my companion. At times, the impression was luminous but at other times, murky. I saw answers to prayers. I continued to believed that everything depended upon prayer but often enough it was only by heavily sought after blind faith. Periodically, it still is. But.... it is becoming clearer, so much clearer.

Now, not to tease you but I have been at this for a few hours so how about ....and pray some more!.....part 2 in the next few days? Thanks for your curiosity. I have really had to think. I mean, 1995 is 12 years ago, 1985, 22 years ago. Yikes!
Almighty God,
You are so awesome and so good. No one is good except You and You alone. Your mercies, truly, are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness! I thank you and praise you for giving me all that You are. You hold nothing back. I don't understand. Why do you love me? Why are you mindful of me and my puny life? Without You I am nothing. I am less than nothing. You alone are great and glorious and mighty and famous and Holy. You alone are God. I can't fathom it...that I am Your child. I am Your child. I am your child. I am Your child. I am Your
Child.
Unbelievable and yet true. How can I thank You? I give You my life. Let it be. Amen.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Pray Pray Pray!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Intentional: aware, calculated, considered, contemplated, deliberate, designed, direct, intended, knowing, meant, planned, premeditated, purposed, purposeful, studied, thought out, voluntary, willful :Intentional

TREASURE

Treasure by Jared Anderson

Your breath is like rain
Your Word it sustains me
I've come to this place
with intentions of finding you

Your truth is a lamp
Your wisdom my light
I'm seeking your face
with intentions of finding you

I would run for a thousnad years
If I knew every step would be getting me closer
I'd swim to the ocean floor
For my Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure

Holy holy
Holy is the Lord

Holy My God is holy
Holy is the Lord

All the angels sing
Holy Jesus is holy
Holy is the Lord

My Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure

Friday, July 27, 2007

Happy 14th Birthday Hannah!

July 26th, 2007! That was my youngest daughter Hannah's 14th birthday and it was one of my favorite Hannah birthday celebrations! When kids are young they have big expectations for their birthdays. There is a lot of fun that goes along with that and we have many great birthday memories but now that our kids are older, big birthday parties are no longer an expectation. Yesterday was one of those low key birthdays. First of all, yesterday was a Thursday so Dan and Jordan were off to work. Second, Bethany was away at softball camp for the week so that left Hannah and I home alone. Bethany was able to be home Wednesday evening for a few hours so we were all there to open a few gifts. We have all been burning the candle at both ends so I was glad when Hannah said that she planned on sleeping in on Thursday morning! I decided that if she was sleeping in that I was going to shoot for 8:30 myself. But around 8:10 the phone rang and it was "Jack In The Morning" letting us know that Hannah was the winner of the birthday boquet on 89.1 "The Spirit." We knew she wanted to sleep in but Dan and I just had to go say happy birthday from Jack. She smiled and went back to sleep. A few hours later she appeared and was ready to boogie. She had told me several times in the last two years that she was going to get her permit the day she turned 14. That's what they all say..right? Well, she wasn't kidding. First thing she did was to hand me the book she was studying in and had me ask her several questions. After that we grabbed the necessary items, birthcertificate and social security card, and were on our way to take that test. She informed me that if she passed she would be glad to drive me around on any erronds that I needed to do. "Ya right," I thought. Her dad and I have let her drive a few times in a church parking lot. I'm just sure I am going to let her start out on Collins Road. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the road in our city that has the most accidents. Well, she did pass and she did talk me into letting her drive. We started out in a parking lot. After several laps, a few attempts at parking between some yellow lines and some right and left turns we headed for some quite side streets. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. She was doing really well. A little closer then I like to be to the right curb but I was pretty calm for me. So after doing that for a while we decided to try 42nd street. 42nd is some 25mph and some 35 mph and is 4 lanes( 2 east and 2 west). We traveled about 3 miles on that road and drove around some residential streets off of 42nd as well. Hannah was beginning to feel quite confident and I could not believe that I had lasted this long on a first "non parking lot drive." I was actually enjoying myself. I thought it best to quit while it was going well so we went home to get some lunch. Later, we enjoyed going out and doing our nails together. Then Hannah got a surprise visit from her friend Brenda who brought her a wonderful gift. Hannah screamed when she opened it-an itunes card.
Later, Dan offered to take her out to supper but she opted for a quiet meal at home. Good thing
because not long after, her friend Brenda called and wanted to drop off a gift so we asked her to join us for supper. Soon after Brenda left, Susie and Morgan showed up, along with Susie's mom
(Hannah's second mom), and brought her a delicious birthday cake they had made. Yummy!
Thanks gals!
It was a wonderful day full of many surprises. But the biggest surprise to me was when Dan let Hannah drive to the airport that night at 10:30pm. It was dark and raining but off they went. Kind of a scary drive for the first day of a permit. They were going to welcome back some folks from our church who were returning from a missions trip. I opted out of that one! Of course it was because it was past my bed time, NOT because I had any qualms about the drive.
Hannah, Thanks for sharing your 14th birthday with your family and friends. Knowing you has brought joy unspeakable into all of our lives. You are beautiful and I love you. Mom
P.S. Drive Safely! :)





Tuesday, July 17, 2007

You're Blessed

Matthew 5

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule. "

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

"You're blessed when you get your inside world-your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God;s family.

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

"Not only that-count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens-give cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

This Road

This Road by ginny owens/kyle matthews

A million miles away from anything familiar
A thousand places Iwould rather be
So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
Though I find it hard to see beyond my suffering

In my heart I know Your plan is so much bigger
But this small part is all that I can see
And I believe You haven't left me here to wander
Still I can't help but ponder
where You're leading me

And I ask why this road?
Why this way? And this load?
Tell me how far must I go?
'Til I see, 'til I know why...this road?

A million miles away from anything familiar
What was it like to be so far from home
Though You came in love
The world misunderstood You
There must have been some days when You felt so alone
But You endured 'cause there was joy before You
Joy that came because You sacrificed
Since You gave Yourself just to spend forever with me
Surely I can trust You'll lead me through my darkest times

When I ask why this road?
Why this way? And this load?
Tell me how far must I go?
'Til I see, 'til I know why...this road?

From here I cannot see
Why You'd choose this path for me
But I don't have to understand to believe
That You know why this road
Why this way and this load
You know how far I must go
'Til I see, 'til I know why...this road.

Friday, July 13, 2007

"She Finnished Well"

Last night was senior night at the Kennedy
Softball field. We celebrated between games
by introducing our three awesome senior players: Bethany, Alyssa and Trysha! All three ladies played well in both games. After the games there was ice cream and cake for all of the players, their families, coaches and fans. Thanks to all of you who came out to see Bethany and the Kennedy Cougars play.
We appreciate all of your love and support.



























Bethany Coach Roalf Willie Boyd















Bethany and Tyler (our #1 fan)















Bethany and her friend, Mrs. Smothers















Bridget and Nathaniel came out for the game.
















Mrs. Leonard and Mr. Zaugg came to the game.
They are both parents of girls that Bethany has
played with in years past.
















Of course, Jordan and Hannah were there.
















Hannah had Morgan and Susie there too!

















Dennis Sharp, a youth sponsor from our church,
came to see Bethany play. Thanks for coming
Dennis.















Dan and I were there too and we couldn't be
more proud of our daughter Bethany. She has
shown awesome Christian character for 5 summers
of softball with the Kennedy Cougars. God not only
blessed her with a wonderful evening of softball
but He surrounded her with people who care for
her and shared in the evening with her.




















Congratulations #3! You have hung
in there through thick and thin. You
have shown love and respect towards
your coaches and teammates at all
times. You have been loyal to all of
your teammates no matter their skill
or status. You never quit on yourself
or your teammates. You have finnished
well. God is pleased with you and He
has used you to inspire and to teach
those around you.
We love you BK!......Mom

Monday, July 09, 2007

Birthday Buddies!

As I mentioned in one of my recent entries Dan and Jordan share the same birthday. We have many fond memories of these two sharing birthdays. Of course, my favorite memory is the original. Jordan not only came on the same day as Dan was born but only minutes away from the same time. What can I say? I tried really hard but some things are just out of our control.











On Jordan's 1st birthday he got a big cake
with one candle and Dan got a little cake
with 28 candles.



















These are birthday's #2 and 3 for Jordan and #29 and 30 for Dan.
Notice anything interesting? Yep! Dan had on the same shirt both
years.



















We spent Jordan't 4th birthday and Dan's 31st in
Worthington, Mn. with Dan's folks and his younger
sister Melanie.















Here is one of a few birthdays that we
celebrated at a Kernals Game!
This one is in 1997! Dan is 37 and J is 10!

















Dan and Jordan have blown out a lot of
candles together.



















This was a fun birthday. Mr. Conn was Jordan's teacher
on Wednesday nights at church. Mr. Conn also shares Dan
and Jordan's birthday so we had him and the entire
class over for a great game of dodgeball. When we added
up the total years to all 3 birthdays it came out to be exactly
100! That was cool! The year was 1999. Can you guess how
old Mr. Conn was?

















We celebrated Jordan's 13th and Dan's 40th at
Grandma's house in Manilla! I would say that
Dan had a little too much cake but as you can
see the cake hasn't been cut yet. I don't know
what got into him.















Three years later Jordan has the giggles.















In 2005 we were in DesMoines watching softball
games. Our hotel room had a moose in every room
and Jordan got quite attached to his. I'm sure that
was the idea! Get people loving the moose and they
will buy it for their child. Sorry! All Jordan got
was a picture. Uncle Mark joined us to celebrate
Jordan's 18th and Dan's 45th.













And that brings us to 2007! Jordan is 20 and
Dan is 47. The time has gone so fast. My little
baby boy is a 20 year old man. And my hubby
is...well he's...um 47.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Softball Anyone?

If you know our family you know that our summers are full of softball. All three of our kids like to play softball and this summer has had no lack of it. Between the three kids there have been about 100 games. Dan and I don't get to all of them but we do get to most of them. Jordan plays in a church league and the girls both play for Kennedy High School. Hannah gave us a surprise when, after not playing for two years, she told us that she wanted to go out for softball again. She is glad she did. She is having a fun time in spite of a heel injury that sidelined her for about 10 days. Just yesterday the coach gave her a varsity uniform so she gets to suit up with her sister for the tournament games. :) Some people think we are crazy but that's okay. We love it. It allows us to be outdoors, meet lots of cool people, eat at concession stands, read(between games), and enjoy our kids. I have no idea of how many hits, assists, put outs or runs we've had but I do know that we are together and we are learning and growing. We know that one day we will look back on our summers with our children with great memories of spiritual
growth, friendship and fellowship. I'm also pretty sure that one day we will be asking
some of you is you know anyone playing softball that we can go out and watch.






































Some people play a little catch to warm up.
Hannah plays some tunes for her pre-game
warm up.




















Hannah gets a varsity uniform!
Congratulations Hannah!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Weir and Mary!

A little over a week ago Dan and I had the honor of attending the wedding of a very precious couple. Weir and Mary Nelson! We have known Weir for many years throught New Covenant Bible Church and have grown to love him a lot. If I could pick a dad, other then my own, Weir would be at the top of my list! He has been a wonderful friend and brother in Chirst. He is known by many as a great prayer warrior and has mentored me simply by example in that area. I am confident that Weir prays for me and my family regularly and that there is nothing he wouldn't do for us if we needed him. We haven't know Mary for nearly as long but she is one of those people that you love the minute you meet her. She is sooooooo sweet. Never does an unbecoming thing come from her lips. I don't know why I didn't think of matching her up with Weir myself? Thank God that He is always ahead of us and His timing and grace is sweet and perfect. One thing that I have prayed for Weir is something that he asked me to pray a handful of years ago. He asked that I would pray that God would superceed over everything in his life. I would say that God answered this prayer and more when He brought Mary into Weir's life.

God! You are so good and so awesome and you care so much for us. May we all pray as Weir asked me to pray for him...that you would superceed over everything in our lives. We know that when you rule in our hearts, that our lives are loaded down with benefits that overwhelm us with awe. Your goodness and your love are for sure everlasting. Amen!
Diane,
Mary,
Weir,
and
I at the
reception
following
the
wedding.

Happy Father's Day

Happy 19th Father's Day Dan. We had a fun day! We went to church in the morning and then came home and had some tasty burgers for lunch. Dan opened his present from the kids(a lantern) and then we spent the afternoon together doing things outdoors. First we took a drive where we stopped along the river to try out a spud gun that Dan had used at a men's gathering awhile back. We knew that the one we borrowed wasn't working the best but we tried it anyway. Dan went out and bought some new flints. We were excited when the first potatoe went flying across the river but our excitement didn't last long. It only worked one more time so we just saw two potatoes fly. I think it was all for the best though because Jordan wanted to aim his potatoes at the boaters on the river and I don't think that would have gone over real well. We skipped some rocks and decided to hit the road. At home we jumped into our pool and relaxed until Jordan got us going in a game of keep away. Dan, you are a wonderful father to our three children. They love you and admire you! Next month Dan will celebrate his 47th birthday and his 20th anneversary of being a dad. That's right! His first born child and son, Jordan, was born on his birthday...almost to the minute. He has me to thank for that. I was ready to give birth the day before but I held off pushing for 24 hours so we could have Jordan as close to this birth time as possible. Okay, so you don't believe me. But they really were born only eight minutes apart. Dan on July 8th, 1960 at 9:48pm and Jordan on July 8th, 1987 at 9:56pm. We thought it was pretty cool!




































































Good Help Is Not So Hard To Find

When you have great friends and a couple of kids good help can be found! We have had what I call "Country Christmas" wallpaper since the day we moved into our home eleven plus years ago. Pink and blue wreaths with a little pink bow on the bottom of each. As the kids say, NASTY! We didn't like it then but getting it down wasn't a top priority. It probably still wouldn't be a big priority for me but Hannah has a way of pushing us when it comes to home decor! So, I put out an email to some girlfriends who had said that whenever I decided to get this wallpaper down to call them and they would join me for a wallpaper tearing down party. I thought it would take most of three or four days but to all of our delight it only took two seven hour days. That was for me alone! When you add up the total hours it was almost 28!! So, had I been on my own it would have been 4 seven hour days. With good help it was only two. Many hands really do make work light and the company is always fun. Everyone came ready to work but better yet they came with light hearts, not begrudgingly! They all wanted to be there. To be honest, when the kids wanted to help I was kind of hesitant. Let's just say they aren't quite as careful and they haven't a clue about the mess they leave behind. But after it was over my old lady, do it my way, attitude changed. They wanted to help! They were so much fun. I had heard from Hannah how funny Sarah Nanke was but I got to experience it first hand. They were funny and cheerful and insanely diligent. If the entire room was done as perfectly as Nanke's wall it would have taken me about 75 man hours. She may need to visit with Pastor Bob about that recovering
perfectionist thing. Ha ha! Just kidding. Thanks so much Tracie, Hannha, Susie, Sarah and Bethany. You guys were more than good help...you were GREAT help. Without a doubt, I know who to call when I am in need a some extra helping hands. And hey...please, give me a call when you need some extra help. I want to be there for you with the same heart that you shared with me. Thanks for reminding me that good help is only a good friend away.


























Thursday, May 24, 2007

Recognition and Perspective

The month of May is always busy for parents of school age children. Besides finishing up with school and extra curricular activities there are banquets and assemblies galore. Oh and don't forget that final concert. We wouldn't want to miss that now would we!
Just for our family alone we have had all of the following activities in the month of May:
*moving our son from Tennessee to Iowa after finishing his first year at Bryan College
*an academic assembly
*an academic athletic assembly
*5-6 track meets
*a track banquet
*a senior recognition night
*5 softball games(all three of our kids are playing softball..we have about 95 games yet to come) *two graduation ceremonies
*a graduation party at our home
*a vocal concert(oh, never mind...we skipped it)
*a trip to Chicago
*33 invitations to graduation parties for friends and family(a few of those are in June)YIKES!
WOW!!
It's all been fun and it's all been good...for the most part. But seeing that so many of those events have to do with recognition, it all makes me wonder. I do that a lot. Remember the blog a long time back when I told you that the Indian name that Dan gave me is "DEEP RIVER"? Well, that's me. Thinking, pondering, wondering. I'm so glad that God gave me this gift. I will talk more about that a little later. Let's look at some pictures.
"All of you graduates who did such and such stand up
and we will all clap for you." I not being as facetious at
is may seem. I just truly don't remember why they were
standing this time.













"Congratulations to Bethany Joy Koskamp for
keeping that 3 point whatever GPA while running
track at the same time."













"Wow! Look at all of these marvelous
accomplishments! And ain't she so cute!"













Here is the awesome kid again, and this
time with her parents. They must be
something to raise a child of this caliber.
















OK! My tone has been a little sarcastic but it's not because I think that the above ideas are bad. It's not that at all. Like I said, it's all good...for the most part. For me, it has been good because God has blessed me with a mind that wonders and ponders and wonders some more. I don't know how He does it, but I know why He does it. Because I have asked Him to. I have asked Him to help me to keep it all in perspective. I have asked Him to cause me to see things as He sees them. Without Jesus, my perspective would be so messed up. The pictures above would have such a different meaning. Because of Him, those pictures represent precious memories of a child loved just because she is. And to her they represent many thoughts and feelings that I may or may not know.
About a month ago I heard a parent say, "If I would have known that my child was getting that award that day, I would have had my camera." The comment caused my spirit to say, "ew." What a sad perspective. So, the child wasn't worthy of a picture unless they got the BIG award. Unless they got FIRST PLACE! Unless they did good enough to be RECOGNIZED. Sad.
So why did I write about this? I have asked myself this question several times during this entry because it has taken me a lot of time to think about how to present my thoughts. I've concluded that it has been no special reason other then that after attending all of these May events(there are many more then usual when you have a senior) it has been on my mind a lot. I am an observer of people and as I have raised my children over the years I have made lots and lots of intentional effort in striving for God's perspective in these things. In doing so, I can't help but notice a world with lots of sad and self -serving perspective. It's ironic really. Gymnasiums and auditoriums full of parents(Christians and non-Christians alike) who obviously love their children. And yet, they are still serving themselves more then the children they intend to love. They just haven't thought about it.

What about this picture? If you didn't know who was
writing this blog you most likely wouldn't know who
this was a picture of. Nor would you care. It's nothing
special. No first place trophies here. But when I look at this
picture I see a lot. When I look at this picture I see 1000's of
other pictures. I see what's important...I see what counts.













Recognition and perspective. Both are good but recognition without perspective is_________.
I decided that I have said enough. You fill in the blank.
God,
You know that I am far from perfect and so do I. I know that without You I am nothing. We both know that without You I am selfish and self-seeking and all about me. Without you, my perspective is way off. Thank you God for giving me a desire to see things from Your perspective. I know that I don't always get it right but my desire is to be like You, to think like You, to love like You and to have your perspective in this life. This month has been full of events that recognize children for their accomplishments and so forth. Oh Lord, I know that I love my children for who they are, no matter what. But do they know that? Do I show them that every day? Do I tell them one thing and yet show them another by the things I say and the way that I live? Have mercy on me Lord. That is not my intent. My desire is to let my children, as well as all children, know that they are loved by You because You are their maker, their redeemer, and their God. And God, I especially pray for all of those children who have had little or no recognition during the ceremonies and assemblies that have taken place. Those who have sat silently, observing the joy around them as others bask in glory. Lift them up I pray. Make Yourself and Your love known to them. Use me to show them Your perspective towards them. Amen.